also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
