Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
there is glitter all over my balls
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
