Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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