Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
