do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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