I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
