oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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