He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
