found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
