Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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