If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
