final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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