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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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