IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
