Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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