Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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