i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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