normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
