Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
