I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
