Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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