come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
