I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
