Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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