am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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