i would punch a child for taco bell
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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