You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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