I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
