so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
