Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
