She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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