pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
