I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
