They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
