sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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