Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
