she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
