everyone is single if you try hard enough
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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