i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
