Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
