Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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