I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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