Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
