Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
