hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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