He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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