2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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