the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
