she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
