so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
